4 Signs That Someone Is Jealous Of You and Your Success …

4 Signs Of Jealousy You Should Watch Out For

Envy is a natural feeling that almost all of us experience. No matter how hard we try, we can’t completely escape it. When others have what we value, but we are unable to possess or achieve it, we feel helpless. It could be attention, respect, fame, money, or success in any field we desire.

Deep down it causes a feeling of inferiority within us, Which is painful to admit. We try to disguise that feeling and tell ourselves a false story of how unfair the world is.

The resentment we feel leaks out in form of anger at certain moments or through non-verbal cues. We like to believe that the Fame, attention, success, or praise others are getting is not a function of their hard work but merely because they got lucky or they achieved it through immoral ways.

In ancient times people were very open about expressing their envy, they acted upon it through violence, wars or forcefully taking what others had. But today in this modern age people are more diplomatic, they may seem to advertise themselves as open-minded and transparent. But the truth is, they are good at disguising what they’re feeling.

They will try to sabotage our work, reputation, and relationships in silence and without realizing that the feeling of jealousy is their core motivation behind those actions.

To avoid people from destroying our work, reputation, relationship, and success we need to become the master decoder of envy. People leak out their true nature at certain moments and we should be quick to observe that, the signs are subtle but hard to miss.

Then we’ll be able to avoid such an envy attack and defend ourselves against such people.

In this article, I’ll be discussing 4 signs which will show you that people are jealous of you which I read in The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene.

1. Microexpressions

It is the easiest sign for you to detect if you suspect someone might be jealous of you. Tell them about your recent success from any walk of your life. It could be a job promotion, a salary raise, onboarding a new client, or about closing a great deal. You’ll notice a very quick expression of disappointment on their face. Their voice might go dry and even if they want to, they can’t take away that microexpression from their face. They’ll try to cover it up with a fake smile that doesn’t reach their eyes.

Or you can share your misfortune with them and you’ll notice a subtle microexpression of joy in their eyes. They can’t resist it, their eyes will light up at the mention of your adversity. And they’ll quickly disguise it with a more social expression which is more suitable according to the situation.

“When you’re sharing the good news with someone and the conversation gets dry after that. That surely means a lot. Just pay attention.” — Diship Sharma

If you see such looks among people in your vicinity be aware of them.

2. Poisonous Praise

As the name suggests, it doesn’t qualify as praise but as a poisonous or offhand comment that is made to undermine your achievements or success. The comment is made with the intention to personally attack you and your achievements to get under your skin and you’ll end up wondering whether it was praise or an insult.

They’ll bring out the most undesirable parts of your success, which is consistent with the false story they keep playing in their mind. They’ll mention that your hard work was nothing, it was only good timing and luck which played a major role in your success.

The promotion is not because of your passion for your work, it is just because the boss favors you over others. The audience you’ve built is stupid and they don’t have good taste, people follow anyone and everyone these days. Or They’ll mention your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend’s good traits at your wedding.

These comments are made when it hurts the most, that is when the good news is announced to them. And are thrown among normal comments to disguise their envy as praise.

If you experience such poisonous praise from people in your environment then there are chances that something intense is boiling under the surface.

3. Backbiting

It’s the most common sign of envy that you can detect. If people are bitching about other people in front of you what makes you think that they’ll not gossip about you behind your back with someone else?

When they talk about other people behind their backs you’ll notice that their voices become animated, their eyes light up at seeing the opportunity to gossip and they extract joy out of this activity. Bitching about someone, undermining their success, or questioning their character is all fun and games for them. It almost seduces them and they just can’t able to resist this temptation.

The underlying theme of their gossip is that no one is really that great and people aren’t they pretend to be. It is the most convenient way to vent out the envy we have for other people and for all the good things that are happening in their lives.

If you notice colleagues or friends suddenly giving you a cold shoulder, then this might be possible that someone in your own circle of confidence(a friend or a colleague) is spreading rumors about you. That is why serial gossipers do not make loyal and trustworthy friends.

“People who talk about others behind their backs, are most likely to talk about you with others behind your back. Observe people like these”. — Diship Sharma

If you encounter that a person has spread rumors about you. Stay away from them.

4. The Push and Pull

People who are jealous of you, use friendship and intimacy as the best to get to know your flaws, vulnerabilities, insecurities, and fears, and this knowledge is often used by them to sabotage your work and your reputation in form of active envy(People who actively act on their feeling of jealousy to cause harm to other people).

They’ll praise you first to get your emotions engaged. When they get a good hold on the way you live, navigate through life and your emotional instability. Then they’ll start criticizing you in pointed ways.

The criticism is not about something you did or didn’t do, it’s their jealousy leaking out through that criticism. So it becomes confusing for you because you are not able to figure out what’s going on with them. Their criticism is very personal and with no intention of improving you or your work.

And sometimes they bring back their initial praise to pull you back again into the trap and the cycle repeats, draining out your energy and creative powers. And your mind is forever occupied with their thoughts only.

Their past is flooded with dramatic breakups of friendships and they’ll tell how the other person was at fault. They always choose to befriend the people they envy with the intention to cause as much harm as possible.

Choose your friends wisely.

“Learn to deflect envy by drawing attention away from yourself. Develop a sense of self-worth from internal standards and not constant comparisons.” — Robert Greene

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